It's been a while since I last blogged. I didn't realize how long it was until I checked the date this morning!!!
If I had my way, I would splurge all my true feelings out on this page. Instead, I'm struggling to say what I really want to say.
My thoughts at the moment are scrambled up in my mind and I'm finding it hard to figure out what makes sense and what doesn't! In the last 3 months I have gone through the most intense changes! No one died, but I lashed out at people close to me, I changed direction in terms of my career, family, relationships....
Where i sit at the moment, I don't have a job, I don't have an income, I ended a 'almost' 4 year relationship and decided to visit my brother in JHB without a car... I have been forced to sit down and think and I realised that thinking requires tears. As I'm thinking about all the changes I wonder If I made the right decisions but it doesn't matter because I made them and nothing can change it....
I've been trapped inside an empty bubble and I'm floating around inside..lost in my thoughts. Wondering which direction to take because each direction has a different outcome. I try to find inspiration in others' words but only a few understand how it truly feels because they themselves have been trapped in this dark unsympathetic bubble of wondering.
But yet I stay strong. I accept that things happened because they happened. I am willing to stand up and stay strong no matter what because I don't have a choice! It's either bed and chocolates or exercise and thinking until my tears have dried up. I have an inner feeling of intense hope and understanding of my abilities and it's time to show it to others.
Starting with a job that I am passionate about. Not just a job that requires work and pay in return, but a job that I am truly passionate about and can make a difference. Some say it's impossible to find it, but I know if I look hard enough, I'll find it.
Life is either a daring adventure.. or NOTHING at all :) Whatever life throws at me, I CAN and WILL get through it.
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